Loving & Forgiving Our Enemies

“But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those persecuting you…”
Matthew 5:44

Introduction

As Christians, we are expected to adopt a spirit of humility and love, to repent of our wrongs, and do good for others.

However, in life, we may be wronged by others, sometimes people may have said something offensive to us, or perhaps have done something to harm us. Often we may come across some individuals who do not hold our values, such as love, consideration or humility.

Be it someone we don’t know, a Christian brother or sister, friend, or even family member, when such a case arises, we are advised by Yeshua to even love our enemies, in that we try to make peace with them, and see the good in all people, rather than being critical, unforgiving, judgemental, seeking fights or taking revenge upon others.

Apostles, such as Paul also speak of this command, and advise us to keep peace “if at all possible”.

• “If possible of you, living at peace with all men” – Romans 12:18

Just as Yeshua told us during his sermon, we must seek peace with all people if possible, “turning the other cheek” (Luke 6:29), not seeking vengeance for wrong done to us, but to instead move on from negativity, and instead leave vengeance to God, who by means of his Son, will render justice to all (Romans 12:19).

Practical Application; Are we to suffer Abuse?

Does this mean, however, that we are required to suffer abuse? Does this teaching imply that we literally must show love and favour, to bow down to, give gifts, and happily accept the punishment of people who consistently abuse us, of those who would take advantage of our kindness? Is the Bible teaching us to, in other words, “be a doormat”?

What is important to note in Paul’s words in Romans 12, is the latter part of the sentence. If we note, it says “if at all possible”. This is then implying that such a thing ‘isn’t’ always possible.

We should do well to remember, that the Bible’s teachings of free forgiveness is not one which encourages us to be victims, but rather, that “free forgiveness” is conditional on the basis of that person’s repentance toward us, which is stated by Yeshua himself:

• “Take heed to yourselves: If your brother should sin, rebuke him; and if he should repent, forgive him”. – Luke 17:3

In other words, we are told that forgiveness is conditional upon the ceasing of their abusive actions toward us, along with a given apology. We should keep in mind, not even God forgives those who do not repent of their sins (Luke 13:5).

Of course, this may sound confusing, for what did Yeshua then mean by “forgive freely” if it requires the “cost” of repentance?

The True Meaning of “Free” Forgiveness

The “freeness” of our forgiveness is based upon the mind set of ancient Jewish society and the Mosaic Law. Before Yeshua died for our sins, a “sin offering” had to be given to God (Leviticus 4:1-5:13, 6:24-30), along with an apology, in order to be forgiven. In other words, being sorry wasn’t enough, but a payment had to be made. This principle pervaded throughout ancient Hebrew society, that in order to be forgiven, people expected some kind of payment in return, and was in fact embedded into the very law of “making reparations” (Exodus 21:18-35).

The principle then which Yeshua taught us, was that we do not require to be given reparations or payment for the troubles that have been caused us (e.g; demanding that a person perform labour for us, or pays us money before we accept their genuine apology and forgive them).

Therefore, Yeshua did not teach us that when someone punches us in the face, or steals from us, bullies us, or takes advantage of our hospitality, that we just nod our heads saying “that’s ok, I forgive you, go ahead keep doing it, I love you”, no, forgiveness on our part, just as it is with God, requires real repentance.

Therefore, in the case of an “enemy” that does not cease their hatred or abusive behaviour, the spirit of Yeshua’s teaching encourages that we do our best to walk away and avoid conflicts in the best interests of all involved. This is a part of showing “love to our enemies”, that we do not take vengeance upon them, or try to “pay back” what they have done in turn.

It is ok to feel angry, or annoyed at someone, for it is even written “be angry, but do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26), showing that how we feel, and how we act upon our feelings, are two different things. But of course, we should by all means try to have a healthy and loving mindset toward all people if we can, for sin first fosters in our hearts and minds, before they become fertile and are acted upon (James 1:15).

Praying for our Enemies

Despite the fact that we sometimes make enemies in this world, and have to deal with those who would be cruel to us, Yeshua also tells us that we must love and pray for such people, otherwise we are no better than them, or other ungodly people (Matthew 5:44-46).

Though as forementioned, we are not required to suffer or forgive others who are not repentant of what they have done, we are encouraged to take a higher view of all people, including that of our unrepentant enemies.

But how can we do that? How do we “love” those who hate us, even whilst not forgiving their unrepentance or affirming their bad behaviour? In the same way God does.

Though we might not be forgiving of the unrepentant, just as God himself is not, we should hope and pray that they come to be, that they come to change. The attitude toward all which we should share is the fact that all people are our fleshly brothers, sisters and cousins, and that God wants them to be our eternal spiritual brothers and sisters also.

• “Cast away from yourselves all the transgressions you have committed, and fashion for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. Why should you die, O house of Israel? For I take no pleasure in anyone’s death, declares YHWH God. So repent and live!” – Ezekiel 18:31-32
• “This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Saviour, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth”. – 1 Timothy 2:3-4

True love “looks and hopes for the best” in people (1 Corinthians 13:7). In this respect, whilst we’re not required to be door mats for abusers to take advantage, or to let evil go unpunished, we should hope and pray that these people do not remain as such, but come to repentance and redemption.

We do this, whilst also leaving ultimate justice in God’s hands, not seeking to take revenge upon ourselves in our own time, but inasmuch as is in our power, situation, and ability, to leave things be, and to live in peace.

Love; The Difference between Justice & Vengeance

Whilst we do not take personal vengeance upon ourselves (for example, a person slaps us, or calls us an insulting name, we do not give the same in turn, nor do we plan to somehow get back at them), this does not mean we cannot act in the best interests of ourselves or others, by reporting individuals who are not merely being disruptive or unsavoury individuals, but who are in fact, committing very real crimes, or are acting in very harmful and dangerous ways.

It could be argued, in fact, to be “unloving” of others not to do so, for love is not just expressing affection, but “looks out for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4). In this respect, is it loving to our neighbours to not seek to prevent or report a case of a man or woman, plotting or attempting to murder, steal, rape, or molest? I leave you as the reader to make your own conclusion on that.

Indeed, scripture teaches, that should our lives, health or even emotional and mental state be in danger, that a Christian is in their right “under the laws of Caesar and the secular authorities” (Mark 12:17) to report them to the police or some other entity to deal with them, for they are “God’s servants” tasked with dealing out justice to mankind (Romans 13:4), until the Second arrival of Yeshua and the establishment of his Kingdom upon Earth.

Neither Yeshua nor the Apostles taught that our love should unnecessarily or avoidably lead to our or anyone else’s passive deaths at the hands of bullies or evil abusers, as if we are required to stand there like a daisy planted in the ground taking what is dished out to us.

What the Lord Yeshua taught mainly was a ‘principle of character’, in that we should seek peace in our lives, and forgive those who are genuinely sorry about the things they may have done to us.

Conclusion

An overall conclusion about loving and forgiving our enemies.

We do not take vengeance upon ourselves, but instead we should avoid unnecessary conflict at all costs. If we are wronged, we do our best to try and be diplomatic about such situations.

If someone genuinely repentant asks for forgiveness, we should grant it, without any additional expectation of payment from the individual. But if a person does not repent of the wrongs they have done to us, and even worse, continue on with their unjust treatment, we are not obliged to forgive them, nor bow down to their abuse (2 Corinthians 11:19-20).

However, we do well to be “peaceable with all men” (Romans 12:18), to the best of our ability, avoiding conflict and violence, even should it mean to our detriment, be it the loss of our material possessions, or just taking a blow to our pride. Additionally, we should pray for all people, even our enemies, to come to repentance in the Lord.

But we also do well to remember, that our love is directed to all people, not only our “enemies”, but also to ourselves, friends, family and neighbour. Therefore, in the event of an individual coming to harm, it would not be wrong to defend ourselves physically, nor would it be wrong to protect someone else from such individuals, nor would it be wrong to report them to secular authorities for their crimes, of which God has temporarily allowed to be in place for the dealing of justice and civil management.